My daughter Aubrey graduates this week from Oklahoma City University with a degree in dance performance and is making final preparations to join a major cruise-ship line. I am so proud of her … but also admittedly a little anxious as I rent a truck and bring home four years of accumulated belongings from her OCU dorm room. Hence my ode to college dads everywhere, with a tip of the hat to Jed Clampett and my apologies to Flatt & Scruggs.

Come and listen to my story ’bout a dancing fool

She just graduated from a dancing school

Prima ballerina and a tapper to boot

But dad doesn’t know what to do with all her loot (stuff, that is … dorm-room diaspora)

Now the first thing you know old dad is deep in debt

He’s praying for the Rapture but it ain’t here yet

He’ll likely have to work till at least he’s 93

But by then there’ll be nothing for security (social, that is … big gummint in action)

Well we thank you mighty kindly now for dropping in

Our daughter’s off a-cruising in the Caribbean

We’re awfully proud of her as we’re rockin’ in our chairs

She’s kicking but we’re resting on our derrieres (y’all come back now, hear?)