This is another in a series of excerpts from What Every Christian Should Know About the Return of Jesus, released by High Street Press and available at Amazon. 

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In the last post, we began to look at the ancient Jewish wedding as a parable for God’s work of redemption in Christ. We continue this study now.

After the shiddukhim, the second element of ancient Jewish weddings is engagement, or betrothal, known as erusin in Hebrew. After their immersion in the mikvah, the bride and groom enter a shelter known as the huppah, or marriage canopy. This symbolizes the couple entering into a contract to establish a new household. 

Beneath the canopy, the groom offers the bride money or a valuable object such as a ring, and the couple shares a cup of wine to seal their vows. This parallels the cup Jesus and the apostles share in the last supper as a sign of the new covenant. As Matthew records:

Then he [Jesus] took a cup, and after giving thanks, he gave it to them and said, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. But I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom (Matt. 26:27-30).

Later, Paul writes that, in the Lord’s Supper, we remember Christ’s death until he comes again (1 Cor. 11:23-26).

In sharing the cup of wine, the groom assures his bride that, even though he’s going away for a time, he will return for her. This may be what Jesus has in mind when he seeks to comfort his worried disciples in the face of his imminent crucifixion and departure for heaven: 

Don’t let your heart be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself, so that where I am you may be also (John 14:1-3).

With similar words, the groom announces the beginning of an engagement period that typically lasts a year. Legally, the bride and groom are considered married, but they won’t live together or engage in sexual relations until the groom returns for his bride. This contract is considered binding, and it may only be broken when the husband initiates a get, or religious divorce. 

We find an example of this in the Gospels, when Joseph discovers that Mary, his espoused wife, is pregnant. Matthew records:

The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way: After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit. So her husband, Joseph, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.

But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” 

Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name him Immanuel, which is translated “God is with us.”

When Joseph woke up, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married her but did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son. And he named him Jesus (Matt. 1:18-25).

We can see that living separately and chastely is the standard for erusin. Further, we may note that a bill of divorce is required to nullify the marriage, and that it could be a very public – and humiliating – step for both parties, but especially for the bride. Joseph, in his love for Mary, is determined to divorce her privately, until God sends an angel to Joseph in a dream. Joseph then embraces Mary’s “shame” and takes it as his own, remaining faithful to her – as Mary does to him – despite the obvious conclusion others draw about their apparent lack of virtue.

During the year-long erusin, the groom returns to his father’s house and prepares a wedding chamber for his bride. The father supervises the work, carefully observing every detail. That’s because the day of the marriage feast is known only to the father, and it’s announced only when the father declares everything is ready. Regarding his return, Jesus tells his followers: “Now concerning that day and hour no one knows – neither the angels of heaven nor the Son – except the Father alone” (Matt. 24:36).

Meanwhile, the bride returns to her home and prepares for the unknown day of the groom’s arrival. This involves selecting wedding garments, securing oil lamps, and making other arrangements. Above all, the bride is to remain chaste, to cover herself in public as a symbol that she belongs to another, and to be ready at all times for the sound of the shofar (ram’s horn) and the cry from the streets that the bridegroom is on his way.

Next: The Parable of the Ten Virgins